Some of the meanings of SHAME that I found: Painful humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior.  Dishonor.  Embarrassment.  Worthlessness.  Cultural devaluation.  Mortification.  Loss of esteem in the eyes of others.  Negative judgement by others. 

I thought about times I myself have been ashamed, and what caused this feeling.  I didn’t want to think about it.  I don’t want to talk about it.  I don’t want to make art about it. 

Then I remembered a portrait assignment given in an online portrait class, where the instructor suggested that we look at online mugshots of people who have been arrested, and use them as inspiration for our paintings .  She assured us that because arrest records are public information, we could make use of the photos as our subject matter.  Here are two of my paintings from that assignment.

So, I took some time to search out faces of those recently arrested in Florida.  I had numerous choices.  I was particularly looking for expressions of embarrassment and remorse.  Surprisingly, out of the hundreds of faces, I could only find 6 or 7 faces that looked a bit ashamed.  Many were scary looking or smiling, or looking menacing or smug, rather than sorry.  Some had a long list of law infractions next to their photo, but they do not appear to regret their actions at all. 

One of the faces belonged to a beautiful woman, who seemed upset and concerned and ashamed.   It appeared that this was her first arrest, and it was for selling drugs.  Her photo was taken before she was given jail clothing to wear.  Hoping to make something beautiful from a challenging and negative prompt, I selected her mugshot to base my portrait on.  (Please don’t take offense, Doerte-Ina – I LOVE prompts that are challenging!)

I selected neutral colors of brown and beige and black, but soon added red to represent ashamed blushing and being highly upset.

A few in progress images follow. 

Miss Mugshot is heavily hand quilted, following the contours of her face, hair and neck.  I wanted her face to appear smooth, not bumpy, except on her forehead and around her eyes.  I courageously added red thread throughout the piece.  The background was purposely left plain, as the walls in a jail would be.  I hope she has learned from her experience, and will choose a better path in the future. 

Mugshot

40 x 26”

Raw edge hand applique

Hand quilted

Commercial and upcycled fabrics from clothing